Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is unforgiving in ways most people never experience. You will be choked, crushed, and completely dominated by people half your size. You’ll think you’re improving, then a new white belt with wrestling experience will dismantle everything you thought you knew. Your body will ache in places you didn’t know existed. You’ll drive home questioning why you subject yourself to this, wondering if you’re simply not built for it. This is exactly why you cannot quit. Marcus Aurelius wrote, “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” Every person who makes you tap, every technique that refuses to work, every moment of exhaustion—these aren’t obstacles to your growth. They ARE your growth. BJJ strips away ego faster than any other practice because it forces you to confront a fundamental truth: improvement only comes through repeatedly facing what humbles you.
Ralph Gracie Santa Clara competition kids and teens class preparing for upcoming tournaments. The matches can get intense.
The beauty of BJJ lies not in the moments of triumph, but in your decision to return after defeat. Epictetus taught, “Difficulties are things that show a person what they are.” When you’re mounted, breathing heavy, and every escape fails, you discover who you actually are versus who you pretend to be.
Ralph Gracie teaching his crushing pressure passes a Ralph Gracie San Jose, CA.
And here’s the secret: showing up the next day, despite yesterday’s beating, transforms you more than any submission ever will. Seneca understood this when he said, “A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.” Those trials on the mat—the frustration, the pain, the endless plateaus—are polishing you into something harder and clearer than you were before. The person who quits when it gets difficult remains forever unchanged. The person who stays, who returns despite the bruises and the doubt, becomes unconquerable in ways that transcend the mat. That’s not just why you shouldn’t quit BJJ. That’s why you must stay.
Meet Jake Dante of BJJ Wiki and Off The Mats Podcast . Jake is the kind of person we need more of in BJJ. He is a consistent practitioner of the sport (hold a blue belt at Crazy 88 MMA). However, Jake is a black belt of creating great content, and working with all kinds of great people to help the culture of jiu-jitsu grow in a positive way.
Today we talk about his journey into jiu-jitsu, but more importantly how to navigate various setbacks one my have as a practitioner. We also talk about things we can do as parents to keep young people consistent and inspired as they move in their journey.
