This week was harder than I thought. Nothing went "wrong," so to speak, but a lot was going on. Doctor appointments, regular work, trying to learn my new equipment, wrestling with my fear of failure (the real culprit), and other insecurities plagued my week. Nevertheless, I got this new episode for you. Sorry it’s late.
The topic is not stoic in and of itself—it deals with men's pain. One of the biggest lies about Stoic philosophy is that it is meant to cover up pain. In reality, a stoic is meant to feel pain fully, work on discovering WHY they feel pain, and take the most wise, compassionate, and courageous action (but nothing extreme) in their response. I will be sharing some of the conversations that happen in the online Resilient Men's Group (RMG). No names are used. Our group is one hundred percent private. I'm just sharing the ideas we exchange in the group. This is from a few weeks back.
We were talking when one of the guys asked, "Is narcissism in women a trauma response to patriarchy?" The group fell silent. It was such a deep question. Then later in the same session, it was asked, "What do we do as men when the 'father wound' in the child is artificially induced by the mother?" A second gasp overtook the group.
The intersection of generational trauma, narcissistic behaviors, and family dynamics creates one of the most complex challenges facing modern men navigating relationships and fatherhood. When women's legitimate trauma responses to patriarchal systems manifest as narcissistic patterns, it raises difficult questions about accountability, healing, and the collateral damage inflicted on children. This phenomenon becomes particularly devastating when an angry or wounded mother systematically undermines a child's relationship with their father, creating what psychologists call an "induced father wound"—a severing of the father-child bond based on distorted narratives rather than actual paternal failures. Understanding whether narcissistic behaviors stem from trauma responses to systemic oppression doesn't diminish their harmful impact on innocent children caught in the crossfire.
For men facing these situations, the path forward requires navigating between compassion for women's genuine trauma while protecting children from psychological manipulation and alienation. The father wound—already epidemic in our culture—becomes exponentially more damaging when artificially induced through parental alienation tactics, false accusations, or emotional manipulation designed to turn children against their fathers. These dynamics create a vicious cycle where trauma begets trauma, leaving men struggling to respond appropriately without either enabling harmful behaviors or dismissing legitimate pain. Breaking these generational patterns requires honest conversations about accountability, trauma-informed responses, and the crucial distinction between understanding someone's pain and excusing the harm they cause to others, particularly vulnerable children who deserve healthy relationships with both parents.
I'm not pretending to have all the answers. I'm the Antiguru. I'm trying to learn with you. I hope you enjoy this conversation, and I invite your comments. A lot of men are in pain and searching for answers. Please subscribe, share, and be a part of the conversation. Later this week, I'll discuss more things specific to stoic philosophies and practices. Conversations like these are common in the RMG. These are raw conversations by men who love their wives, partners, children and extended families. I hope it helps.
To join the RMG reach out via DM on IG @bishopchronicles - Holla at a scholar!
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